Ah, its pays to be a great athlete. Life-changing money. The adulation of many. Awards and accolades aplenty. Plus, you might get a statue or two, or an airport named after you. Juventus’s Cristiano Ronaldo should know. He has them all, including an airport — the former Aeroporto da Madeira — renamed after him and a bust that, of course, looks exactly like him . . . sort of. Maybe? Perhaps?
Take a look:
Liverpool’s Mohammad Salah has quite a lot going for him, too. The Egyptian soccer star is widely regarded as one of the world’s best, and he plays for an iconic franchise in the English Premier League, arguably one of the best, most competitive soccer leagues on the planet. So, yes, Salah has a lot going for him, except an airport named in his honor. He does have his own bust, too, and it was unveiled fairly recently, at Sharm Al Shaikh in his home country of Egypt. It looks exactly like him . . . sort of. Maybe? Perhaps?
Again, take a look:
Salah’s bust, which shows the prolific goal scorer’s signature celebration pose, was predictably mocked, compared unfavorably to Ronaldo’s similarly ridiculed bust. The derision seems right on point, though, considering the work of art hardly resembles the Egyptian wunderkind. It does, however, look a lot like the 1970s singer Art Garfunkel. A more recent, relatable comparison would be the character Marv in the Christmastime movie Home Alone. So, Salah’s bust looks like someone, though that someone isn’t Salah. Tough luck for the Liverpool ace, eh?
Now, Ronaldo’s and Salah’s busts may be outliers, unintended works of art where art failed to imitate life. But, evidently, they’re not. There are similar abominations, and they all involve soccer stars. Here are three others:
Alan Shearer Statue
Alan Shearer is beloved in his native England, as he should be. He was a superstar much like Ronaldo and Salah, and he still owns the all-time scoring record in the aforementioned Premier League. It comes as no surprise then that a statue of Shearer was built in his honor. Unfortunately, said statue looks anything but the sensational Englishman.
David Beckham H&M Statue
David Beckham needs no further introduction, as he was, in his prime, one of soccer’s supernova stars. He is, in fact, still recognizable years after retirement. His H&M statue, however, seems more Bizarro Beckham rather than David Beckham. And that package? Uhmm . . . Let’s just say it’s all sorts of distracting.
Carlos Valderrama Statue
Look, Ma, that’s Slash . . . or is it? It’s not! That’s Carlos Valderrama’s colossal 22-foot statue erected in his hometown of Santa Marta. Valderrama, of course, is one Colombia’s most beloved soccer stars, and his hairstyle is as shown in his statue.
These statues are just five of several wacky ones, and Ronaldo has at least three of them (including the one you just saw here). For some reason, soccer stars seem prone to being “victims” of art gone wrong. But then again, at least Ronaldo and company have statues built in their honor. As for the rest of us? Well, we have pictures, yes?
