You are in for a quite a read.
Without a moment’s hesitation he ran out onto the ice and slipped and slided over to a little girl.
“Ah, well…” stammers the tramp, “… uh, I’m a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out.”
He finds a travel agent, walks in – much to the disgust of the staff – and goes up to the desk. “I’ll have one holiday please!”
“Oh, any holiday I don’t mind, anything up to ten pounds,” replies the tramp.
She goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There – to her amazement – she finds an old file. “Well you’ll never believe it,” she says to the tramp, back in the shop.
“Come back at midnight when it’s dark and I’ll let you on then.” So the tramp finds himself a quiet spot among some cargo cases on the dockside, and he falls asleep.
“Hurry up, it’s midnight, let’s get you to your cabin.” The tramp toddles after the captain, along the dockside, up the gangway, and onto the ship – and what a ship!
Leave your shoes outside for cleaning, and the steward brings a new pair. 24 ct gold trim everywhere. Then the second class: As above, but perhaps the carpets were only 3″ deep, and so on… 3rd, 4th, 5th class, down past the casinos, and the ballrooms, down through the crew’s quarters, down through the galleys, and the engine rooms, until finally, at the lowest point in the ship, against the very hull,
“Sheer luxury!” exclaimed the tramp, “A room of my very own.”
Your class of ticket only allows you to use the facilities of the ship, at night – when all the other passengers are asleep. So that’s what the alarm clock is for. Enjoy your cruise.” Well the cruise began, and the tramp had a whale of a time. Sleeping by day, and up on deck at night – he loved it. One-man-tennis, clay pigeon shooting, more food than he’d ever seen…
He had just enough time for one dive before he had to go below. He climbed up the ladder, stepped onto the board tip, bounced, and dived… … and what a dive…!
Now unknown to him, the captain – who’d grown rather fond of the poor old tramp – was standing watching this.
“Um, well I’ve never actually dived before,” replied the tramp. “Well that’s incredible!” says the captain, “I’ve never seen…” He broke off. “Hey, I’ve got an idea”, he started again. “How would you like to train a bit, and we’ll put on a show for the other passengers. I’ll pay you, and you can then afford to go first class!”
Then one morning the captain comes to talk. “Okay, I’d like you to stay in your cabin for the next 2 days. We’re going to erect a high diving board for you.” “Okay,” agreed the tramp.
The captain had provided the tramp with a new pair of swimming trunks and he wore these as he stepped out onto the sun-beaten deck. Gasps of astonishment from the crowd, and a hushed awe. Higher than the eye could see, towering up and up, rose a slender column of metal.
up and up… below him the ship grew smaller… on and on…
and still higher… till the ship was but a speck on the ocean below… and on still further… / till the ocean grew dim…
past our moon… and on… and Mars… and on… higher, and higher…
He climbed on top and radioed the captain… and then… .’ ‘. . . . . he jumped. . . . . : Slowly at first, : but speeding up, : : : faster, and faster,
through the asteroid belt, past Mars, and the moon, faster, and faster, faster – ever faster, and by now the earth was growing large in the distance, the oceans and land masses grew clear,
double-back somersault, and he could see the ship, tiny in the distance, hurtling down now, he posed, ready for the final 500 feet, Down on the ship the crew strained their necks,
The tramp streaked down towards the pool, did a last triple flip, and dove… NOT A RIPPLE ON THE SURFACE! DOWN THROUGH THE WATER!
SMASHING THROUGH THE SECOND! DOWN! DOWN! THROUGH THE CREW’S QUARTERS! THROUGH THE ENGINE ROOMS!
STILL DOWN…! DEEPER, DEEPER INTO THE MURKY DEPTHS, TILL……… SMASH!
Desperate for air he struggle out of the shaft, his lungs bursting he swam frantically for the surface. Up and up, desperate, gasping… Out of the water, up the ladder onto the deck of the ship, into a throng wild with acclaim.
And handing him a heated towel the captain spoke, as a hush fell over the crowd. “Well tramp, I have NEVER seen anything like that, EVER. That was the most *STUPENDOUS* piece of diving I have ever seen.” The tramp blushed.
And the tramp looked at the captain, and the crowd and replied modestly:
Source: https://goo.gl/MGzYWT
